So, let me tell you about my therapist. I semi-jokingly call her the Mighty B because she is such a badass. I have struggled with therapy for years. When I decided to go back to therapy, I asked my friends to recommend someone who was smarter than me. I ride rough shod over therapists. I really needed someone I could not outsmart. A friend of mind immediately recommended her. She has an uncanny memory and can hold me to continue to explore things when I try to wiggle out of them.
I tell the Mighty B about this exchange with the fan author, and how this question is eating me up inside. She asks how I’ve been approaching this. As usual, I’m trying to think my way through it. I know that doesn’t work, but I keep going there. I am very stubborn, and it often has been successful in the past.
“Perhaps we should try something other than thinking. It’s not really a thinking question, right? It’s about love and passion. Maybe we should try something more intuitive. I know this is going to sound a little woo…”
I snort, “Seriously? This is me, the witch, a freaking elder by this time. You can’t out-woo me. I am made of woo.”
She laughs, “Ok then. How about you give this a try. I find that when I’m at an impasse, I have to let the body have a voice. I’d like you write down his question with your right hand, and then let the left hand answer.”
I’m pretty willing to try anything at this point. So, when I get the chance, I get calm, put out the pen and paper, and just meditate for about 10 minutes. When I finished meditating, I picked up the pen and wrote “What am I madly and passionately in love with?” and took a deep breath. I moved the pen to my left hand. In my uncoordinated scribble, the left hand said, “Myself and all my parts.” I sat there staring at the page. That was not what I was expecting. Those words were part of a Tradition prayer to align the three souls. I started crying.
The following week, I told the Mighty B the outcome. She smiled and did a classic Mighty B reframing, her specialty. “I know it is hard being home with this disability, waiting to heal to just face another surgery. But it could also be a gift. If you are madly in love with the Tradition, then this time could be a time that you could invest in your witchcraft. Throw yourself into it, let yourself sink into it in a new way.”
I had to laugh. She was basically encouraging me to say, “hold my earrings” and jump in. And that, my friends, is my specialty. When was I going to have this much time to devote to magic in some way? I was going to jump on this. Of course, she pointed out that I was feeling excited about something, and that hadn’t happened in months. So ok, I was going to throw myself into my Craft. That sounded juicy and wonderful. Juicy is not a word I normally use, but there it is.
Seyewailo 